


- and the comedy central roast of michaela

by beaubisexual



Series: conversation "Polysquad" [1]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Texting, also au in that oliver works for it company and for annalise as sort of a side gig, everybody is happy au, three different relationship tags bc connor and oliver are still gay in this, weird au w less murder and it's the future but they still work w annalise as lawyers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 15:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8290862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beaubisexual/pseuds/beaubisexual
Summary: ITollie: okay that's extrapromqueen: E X C U S E Y O Uconartist: you can't excuse the truthpromqueen: @laurel @asher @wes DEFEND MErisefromtheashers: ,,,laurelll: "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." - BuddaheastsidetotheWESside: the tea burnspromqueen: the ones i love,,, have all betrayed m e





	

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to make their usernames p obvious but  
> ITollie: Oliver Hampton  
> eastsidetotheWESside: Wes Gibbins  
> conartist: Connor Walsh  
> promqueen: Michaela Walsh  
> risefromtheashers: Asher Millstone  
> laurelll: Laurel Castillo  
> annamissmewiththatbullshit: Annalise Keating  
> cinnabonnie: Bonnie Winterbottom  
> dankfrank: Frank Delfino

 

 

 

_conversation "Polysquad"_

 

  
**ITollie:** how am i supposed to explain this relationship

 

  
**ITollie:** because whenever i attempt to people always give me weird and confused looks

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** ??? how r u explaining it

 

  
**laurelll:** im p sure that's just how monogamous people work

 

  
**promqueen:** ^^^

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** i object on the grouns that, as a non-monogamous person, i'm still always confused

 

  
**laurelll:** who r u explaining urself to?

 

  
**conartist:** follow-up question: why r these people asking in the first place? can we trust them?

 

  
**ITollie** : ur paranoia is flattering but it's just like work colleagues and stuff

 

  
**ITollie:** and whenever i explain it i'm just like "well i have five partners but i'm only technically with 3 of them because the other 2 are girls - by the way i'm gay - but anyway i'm like super close to them like we are super close friends"

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** not to insult you bro but that's a horrible way of explaining it

 

  
**promqueen:** you actually suck his dick on the regular why do you still call him bro

 

  
**conartist:** you could just not answer the question?? or lie???

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** yes because oliver is such a fantastic liar

 

  
**promqueen:** just do what i do and carry around little slips of paper with the definition of polyamory on them

 

  
**ITollie:** okay that's extra

 

  
**promqueen:** E X C U S E Y O U

 

  
**conartist:** you can't excuse the truth

 

  
**promqueen:** @laurel @asher @wes DEFEND ME

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** ,,,

 

  
**laurelll:** "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." - Buddah

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** the tea burns

 

  
**promqueen:** the ones i love,,, have all betrayed m e

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** also since when have we been telling people that we are together

 

  
**conartist:** a spectacular question

 

  
**promqueen:** ??? since it became official ?????

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** oh.

 

  
**conartist:** really?

 

  
**promqueen:** yes

 

  
**laurelll:** duh

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** yep my pals

 

  
**ITollie:** how have u been explaining us?? or just ur romantic life in general?

 

  
**conartist:** most assume im single and mingling like constantly

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** it's not like you haven't given them reason to my brah

 

  
**conartist:** you really need to stop with the bro thing

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** excuse you i said brah

 

  
**conartist:** *and other alternatives to bro

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** anyway i just usually avoid the question or lie

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** wait since you guys have been telling people does that mean annalise knows about us

 

  
**promqueen:** afraid for mommy to find out about your dirty lovers

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** below the belt

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** i never told annalise or bonnie or frank that we were a thing

 

  
**ITollie:** i didn't either

 

  
**promqueen:** ^^^

  
**laurelll:** did we all just forget to tell all of our bosses that all their employees are fucking

 

  
**conartist:** this is the most us thing we've ever done

 

  
**promqueen:** y'all are so disgustingly in love and pda-rotten how could they not know

 

  
**laurelll:** last night you came home drunkingly sobbing over how much you love us??

 

  
**laurelll:** who are you calling us disgusting?

 

  
**promqueen:** I FEEL ATTACKED

 

  
**ITollie:** the comedy central roast of michaela

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** ROFL

 

_risefromtheashers named the conversation  "Polysquad - and the comedy central roast of michaela"_

 

  
**laurelll:** did u just say rofl in fucking 2016

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** who in their right mind would wanna fuck 2016

 

  
**laurelll:** i've said that about all of ur exes wes

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** rude @michaela they're targeting us

 

  
**risefromtheashers:**  awe don't worry we still like-like you both

 

  
**promqueen:** asher... you're thirty years old. 

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** what the actual fuck asher

 

  
**ITollie:** i'll pay you real money to never say "like-like" again

 

  
**conartist:** i can't believe i've willing had sex with him

 

  
**laurelll:** "like-like" is insecure rich white boy for "love"

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** w O  w speAKING OF TARGETING

* * *

  
**risefromtheashers:** IT'S LIKE SO CLOSE TO BEING HALLOWEEN 

 

  
**conartist:** you are thirty years old.

 

  
**ITollie:** I ALREADY HAVE MY COSTUME PICKED OUT

 

  
**conartist:** unbelievable. 

 

  
**laurelll:** WE SHOULD HOLD A HALLOWEEN PARTY

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** how would we throw a party

 

  
**laurelll:** what do you mean

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** where would we throw it? what would we do? how do you even throw a party.

 

  
**promqueen:** more importantly who would we invite bc all of our friends are also our date-mates so???

 

  
**laurell:** new idea: we all set aside a day of not working and marathon the halloween town series and other disney halloween movies

 

  
**conartist:** you are 28 years old. 

 

  
**ITollie:** you don't have to join us

 

  
**conartist:** no i'm joining you

* * *

  
**laurelll:** ,,, if annalise didn't know about us she knows now

 

  
**laurelll:** or, at least, about me and michaela

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** what

 

  
**laurelll:** she totally just walked in on us making out

 

  
**ITollie:** oh my god

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** WHERE IS MICHAELA YOU TWO NEED TO EXPLAIN URSELVES

 

  
**laurelll:** she's too busy blushing and freaking out to get on her phone

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** this is horrible news

 

  
**laurelll:** it's fine she barely reacted

 

  
**laurelll:** she was as emotionless as usual

 

  
**conartist:** yeah she's probably used to it by now

 

  
**ITollie:** ???? im so afraid to ask what that means

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** i'm not give me the tea

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** ,,,,

 

  
**conartist:** she totally also walked in on wes and i making out like, last week.

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** *channing tatum in 22 jump street voice* OH SHIT

 

  
**promqueen:** why did i have to read that white shit with my own eyes

 

  
**ITollie:** I REALLY HATE THAT I'M A PART OF THIS RELATIONSHIP

 

  
**ITollie:** oh wait hi michaela nice to see u again

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** i thought u were too busy blushing

 

  
**promqueen:** i was resurrected by the need to call folks out on their bullshit

 

  
**promqueen:** speaking of which lol @wes and connor

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** you literally did the exact same thing as us

 

  
**laurelll:** yeah but we did it a week later so it's not as bad

 

  
**ITollie:** i really think we should explain this all to annalise

 

  
**ITollie:** im really surprised she hasn't asked any questions

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** i can assure you literally nobody else in this groupchat is shocked by that

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** u haven't been working for her long enough to ~know~

 

  
**laurelll:** she has to deal with murders every day i highly doubt she cares that much about our love life

 

  
**conartist:** when she saw us her only reaction was a sigh and telling us to get back to work

 

  
**ITollie:** A T W OR K 

 

  
**promqueen:** ??? how else would she have walked in on us?

 

  
**ITollie:** my already low standards have just been dropped lower

 

  
**conartist:** objection u r dating the most attractive people possibly ever???

 

  
**laurelll:** ^^^^^

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** \+ asher

 

  
**risefromtheashers:**  tell that to the blowjob you gave me this morning

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** someone please kick him out of the groupchat

 

  
**ITollie:** i've decided i'm telling annalise

 

  
**promqueen:** send us screenshots

* * *

  
**ITollie:** hey annalise

 

  
**annamissmewiththatbullshit:** yes?

 

  
**ITollie:** i just want to clear things up, as i know it might be confusing you as of recent events and i want us to be on the same page

 

  
**ITollie:** you know, as boss to employee

 

  
**ITollie:** connor, michaela, laurel, wes, asher, and i are all engaged in a consensual, polyamorous relationship.

 

  
**annamissmewiththatbullshit:** okay

 

  
**ITollie:** okay?

 

  
**annamissmewiththatbullshit:** was there something else you want to talk about?

 

  
**ITollie:** no, no that was it

 

  
**annamissmewiththatbullshit:** then this conversation is done with

 

  
**ITollie:** yes, thank you for understanding

* * *

  
**ITollie:** _*2 Images*_

  
**promqueen:** my precious screenshots

  
**conartist:** why r u so terrified of her 

 

  
**ITollie:** !?!?!? did i sound terrified???

 

  
**promqueen:** no more than usual

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** yikes my dude talk about awkward

 

  
**laurelll:** u did fine you were just being respectful ollie

 

  
**ITollie:** yea, exactly

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** it's cute ollie

 

  
**conartist:** literally everything he does is cute 

 

  
**ITollie:** one of you get in here and??? makeout with me??? now????

 

  
**eastsidetotheWESside:** coMING

 

  
**conartist:** OMW

 

  
**risefromtheashers:** ^^^^

 

  
**laurelll:** wow the true queen of dick

 

  
**promqueen:** when will i ever reach that level?

 

  
**laurelll:** i can make out with u rn 

 

  
**promqueen:** we literally just got done making out 

 

  
**laurelll:**  so you don't want to? 

 

  
**promqueen:** no i want to get ur face over here

* * *

  
**annamissmewiththatbullshit:** _*2 Images*_

  
**annamissmewiththatbullshit:** you both owe me $30

 

  
**cinnnabonnie:** wow hitting us with the screenshots

 

  
**dankfrank:** that's cold

**Author's Note:**

> this was highkey inspired by @lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)'s 1-800-did-I-ask series, which is a really good and amazing hamilton text fic that i love with my whole life


End file.
